Peter's Story
by Wallpaper Fairy
Summary: If only I had been braver. If only I hadn't belived Malfoy. If only...
1. First Year

Peter's Story  
  
Okay, I really don't have a lot of time, so I'll try to make this as short as possible. I won't touch on every detail, I'll tell you why my life ended up like this.  
  
  
  
It was the first day of school. I stood on Platform 9 ¾. I took a deep breath. I get nervous really easily. Of course, it didn't help that my father, the perfectionist, was always making sure that I, too, did everything perfectly, and "upheld the family honor." Unfortunately, I have no (useful) talent whatsoever, and was constantly disappointing him. The scarlet train raced up to the Platform, and stopped. The doors opened. I picked up my baggage with difficulty (strength isn't one of my strong points, either) and put it into an empty compartment. I stepped outside for one last look. Everywhere I could see kids hugging their parents goodbye. The last I had seen of my parents before they left me all alone at the station was my mother saying, "Goodbye," in a very bored, indifferent tone, and my father saying, "Goodbye, Peter," in his stiff, cold, formal way.  
  
Sighing, I sat down. "Hello," I heard a voice say behind me. "May I sit here?" Turning around I realized that I was so occupied in my thoughts that I had not noticed the girl come in. She had long red hair, big green eyes, and a sweet smile. She was delicate and petite, and I liked her (both romantically and not) instantly.  
  
"Y-yes," I stuttered. She smiled again and brought her bags in. "My name's Lily Evans," she said. "What's yours?"  
  
"Peter Pettigrew," I said quickly, wishing that my parents had given me a less idiotic name. There was silence for a moment while she got comfortable, then the silence was broken when we heard a loud bang. We jumped to our feet. The door burst open and two boys walked in, both trying to cover their snickering but not even coming close to succeeding. Their bags, that I had assumed were Lily's, were in the corner of the room, and they quickly acted as though they had been there all the time. A slimy-haired boy opened the door, looked suspiciously at them, and slammed the door again.  
  
As soon as he had done that the boys started laughing. One was short and broad-shouldered with straight black hair and sparkling blue eyes; the other was tall and lanky with extremely messy black hair and warm friendly brown eyes.  
  
When they were done, they noticed Lily and I. They quickly jumped to their feet, and introduced themselves.  
  
"Hello, my name's Sirius Black," said the blue eyed one to Lily. "Will you marry me?"  
  
A little taken aback, Lily said, "My name's Lily Evans, and I'll think about it.  
  
The tall and lanky one said, "My name's James Potter, and of course you don't want to marry Sirius. You want to marry me."  
  
They started arguing until James noticed me sitting in the corner. He had very sharp eyes, for one of my very few (completely useless) talents was making myself inconspicuous. "What's your name?" he asked.  
  
"Peter Pettigrew," I said softly, a bit intimidated by their loud and friendly manner.  
  
Another boy suck his head in. "D'you…d'you mind if I sit here?" he asked shyly. "There's nowhere else to sit."  
  
"Of course," James said immediately.  
  
The other boy brought his bags in. "So, what's your name?" asked Lily.  
  
"Remus Lupin," he said. Everyone, including me, introduced themselves. By the end of the ride, we had become fast friends. Lily, I had discovered, seemed sweet and kind at first but she had a vicious temper, mainly directed at Sirius. Sirius was a great lover of pranks, funny, and also had a temper. But as when Lily got mad, she yelled at you and made you feel intimidated, Sirius used his main physical advantage-strength. James was friendly, also loved pranks, more calm and rational than Sirius, (but not by much) and whose main physical advantage was obviously his height. Remus was sweet, kind, gentle, and calm-for a boy anyway. He was very smart, and shy, but wouldn't stop talking once he got started. He only did pranks when the risk wasn't that great, and was more the calm and rational one of the group-James was only calm and rational compared to Sirius. And me? Stupid, short, pudgy, nervous, shy, not exactly good-looking…I can go on if you want.  
  
  
  
We all got into Gryffindor. This is the Sorting Hat said to me:  
  
"Hmmm…let's see…this is very difficult…very difficult indeed. You definitely don't belong in Ravenclaw…you are loyal, but not very, so Hufflepuff isn't right either…brave isn't one of your main qualities so…"  
  
"NO! NOT SLYTHERIN!" I thought, thinking of my father's disapproval.  
  
"Are you sure? Slytherin is surely the place for you, for the ambitious, the powerful…"  
  
"I'm SURE."  
  
"Well, alright then…" It said reluctantly. "I guess it'll be…  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!  
  
James got sorted before the Sorting Hat even touched his head. Sirius had it on only for three seconds. Lily took the average amount of time, but Remus also took a long time. I guess the Sorting Hat was trying to choose between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.  
  
  
  
Another element in my downfall: being the stupid, short, pudgy, nervous, shy, not exactly good-looking person that I am, I constantly got teased. More often than that I ran up to our dormitory (which I shared with James, Sirius, and Remus) with tears.  
  
  
  
That was my first year. 


	2. First Year Summer

A/N: Yey! Reviews! You people are so nice…*sniff, sniff*  
  
1 Peter's Story  
  
Now, where was I? Oh yes-now I remember. I got off the Hogwarts Express, saying goodbye to my friends, and was looking forward to a long summer with no teasing, no teachers and no classes!  
  
Of course, my excitement immediately died down as I met my parents. "Hello, Peter," my father said, shaking my hand. He showed no emotion in his face. "Hello, Father." I said quietly and timidly. "Hello, Mother." My mother ignored me.  
  
Somewhere in the middle of the summer we were all at Sirius's house. Oddly enough, Lily lived a few blocks away, so she was there, too. "Um, guys?" Remus said as he walked through the door. "I don't feel so good. I'm going to go home for a couple of days." Sure enough, he did look pale, and kind of sick.  
  
"Oh, come on, Remus," Lily said. "You'll feel better soon." She smiled in a reassuring way, and I was suddenly very jealous. "Yeah, please stay?" I added, earning a smile from Lily.  
  
"No, really, I…" "REMUS!" his mother called. "I, um, have to go." He quickly left the room.  
  
"Okay, what's the matter?" Lily asked, addressing James and Sirius. "Nothing! Why would you think that?" Sirius said, his face the picture of innocence. (Which, of course, we knew him too well to believe.)  
  
"No, really."  
  
"Well, okay…" James said reluctantly. Sirius pulled out a calendar from somewhere—he had a knack for making things look like they suddenly appeared.  
  
"Look, if you'll notice every day that Remus is absent…" Lily suddenly caught on. She gasped, and looked at Sirius. Sirius nodded.  
  
I, being the incredibly slow person that I am, didn't get it. "Huh?" I said. Instantly I regretted it. That was the most moronic thing I had said so far, and Lily was looking at me like I was some kind of idiot—which, of course, I am.  
  
James, unlike Sirius, who was rolling his eyes, explained patiently, "Every few days that he is absent has a full moon on one of the days." I struggled to understand. There was a long silence. Then suddenly it clicked. "You mean—you mean he's—he's a—a werewolf?" Sirius sighed in exasperation, Lily looked up, I looked down, and James explained still patiently—though he was losing his patience—"Yes, Peter. He is a werewolf. At least we think he is."  
  
I looked around fearfully. "Werewolves only become werewolves on—on the full moon…right?"  
  
Fed up with my stupidity, Sirius said sarcastically, "No, werewolves are always werewolves. Remus has been one every single day. Couldn't you tell?"  
  
"Sirius," Lily said, giving him the 'that-wasn't-very-nice-look'. He responded with the look that said clearly, 'so?'  
  
Suddenly the shock reached my slow brain. Remus was a werewolf. Remus was a werewolf! REMUS WAS A WEREWOLF!  
  
Wait. REMUS was a werewolf? Remus was a WEREWOLF? REMUS was a WEREWOLF?  
  
See how long it takes an idea to reach my brain?  
  
Sweet, kind, gentle Remus was a WEREWOLF? The shock came back, more strongly this time. The others looked the same. James was staring at the floor in disbelief, Sirius was frantically flipping through the calendar to check the dates, and Lily was checking her hearing using an advanced spell that she used in a book.  
  
"I think we should go to bed now," James managed to say in a shaky voice. Lily nodded in agreement, and Sirius showed no response. Everyone went to change, except Sirius, who looked as if he had just been told that he was Snape's long-lost brother.  
  
When we told Remus that we found out, he, too, looked as if he had just been told that he was Snape's long-lost brother, but with more horror than Sirius. Then he said calmly and rationally, (just like Remus) "I understand perfectly if you don't want to be friends with a werewolf. Then he did something most un-Remus like: He ran.  
  
When we found him he was crying. "Go away," he said. James reached out a hand. Remus recoiled as if he thought James was going to slap him, and repeated, "Go away."  
  
"Oh, Remus!" Lily dropped to her knees. "How could you ever think that James was going to hit you?"  
  
"Why wouldn't he? That's what everyone else did!"  
  
"Well, we're different. You're still our friend Remus. You'll always be your friends. Whenever you need anybody, we'll be there, no matter what." That was quite a speech for Sirius.  
  
"Yeah!" That was my brightest remark.  
  
Remus's face cleared and he stopped crying. "Really?" He looked at all of us. Then he looked at James and Sirius in particular. (As they were closer to him than she was—again, I was left out) "Are you guys serious?" He said to them.  
  
"Yes, of course we are—" James said, but was cut of by Sirius's "No."  
  
I stared with shock, James and Lily looked in horror, and Remus looked as if he was going to cry again.  
  
"Actually, that's my name. He's James, remember?" 


	3. Second Year

Peter's Story  
  
The second year was pretty much the same. Teasing, getting into trouble, classes, not being able to finish all the homework…  
  
Except this year we had the "added bonus" of finding out a way to help Remus. (Without Remus noticing) Hour after hour we spent in the library, pouring over books…even I managed to cover some five heavy volumes in a week. (Lily covered 9, James 7, and Sirius 6 ½.)  
  
Finally, during the middle of the year, Sirius found something. "Look at this!" Everyone crowded around him. We read the page. Soon everyone was finished but me, for whom the others were patiently waiting. Finally I finished. "But Sirius," Lily said. "The animagus spell is very difficult, dangerous, and…" "And well worth it," James interrupted. "Remus is our friend," Sirius said quietly and determinedly. "And we will help him any way we can."  
  
Later, my slow but sure brain had hit upon something that the others, in their haste, had forgotten. "Um...guys?" I asked. "We have to chant incantations every night for two years, and the potion has to sit for one year after that." They all stopped talking suddenly. "He's right," Lily said. I blushed with pleasure. "That means…this will take three years," Sirius said slowly. "But that WON'T stop us from helping him." James snapped. "That's not what I meant." Sirius replied. "He has to keep on going through that pain for three years." It was completely silent for a moment. "But it's better than him going through that forever."  
  
We decided that we were going to start as soon as possible. Lily said she would mark the date on her calendar, so we would know when to stop. Sirius helped me learn the incantations, while Lily went over them with James. It was hard work, but we had it memorized in a week. Finally we started. "November 15," Lily said aloud as she wrote it down. It was a long incantation, and I don't think I'll ever forget it. It went something like this:  
  
"Haiika lamanushka sufores lonona lakina turendeh koloko nimana slopo kindana quinka minala qawara ta yapa sa da faga haja kalazaxa ca va banama qewere te yepe se de fege heje kelezexe ce ve beneme qiwiri ti yipi si di figi hiji kilizixi ci vi binimi qoworo to yopo so do fogo hojo kolozoxo co vo bonomo quwuru tu yupu su du fugu huju kuluzuxu cu vu bumuma…"  
  
And that was only the first part. Nothing besides that really happened that year, except for the usual: pranks, detention, people making fun of me, teachers feeling sorry for me because of my "special learning needs," homework that I just didn't get, Lily giving me unwanted pity and admiring looks towards James…what I wouldn't have given to be James, or Sirius, or even Remus.  
  
James was the best chaser for Gryffindor even though he was only a second year, what he got in Transfiguration made up for what he didn't get in other classes, (though he did pretty well in those, too) still had time to pull pranks and keep up his reputation, was one of the most admired boys in the entire school, and even had his own fan club. (Made up of giggling girls.) And, of course, he had Lily's admiration.  
  
Sirius was also on the Quidditch team, (he was a beater) did fairly well in classes, (mainly Transfiguration, Defense against the Dark Arts, and Astronomy—which his parents had taught him about) was the main prank puller of the group, and had the biggest "giggling girls fan club" for a second year.  
  
Like I said, I'd even go for Remus. Remus wasn't as admired, but he was widely respected because of his intelligence and quiet, calm manner—the only reason why he wasn't the leader instead of James was because Remus wasn't the kind of person that you took a liking to instantly, all he needed was James's warm, friendly manner. Of course, there was the werewolf problem, but I wouldn't have worried about that with friends like James and Sirius… 


	4. Third Year

Peter's Story  
  
And then, when it was my third year, it happened.  
  
My parents died.  
  
No one knows how they were killed, not even now.  
  
Dumbledore called me to his office. "Peter, I'm afraid I have some terrible news," he began. "Your parents have…"  
  
I didn't need to hear any more. I snatched the letter out of his hand and ran. I ran and ran and ran, not even realizing where I was going. When I stopped, I noticed that I was in a secret passage that only I knew about—not even the rest of the Marauders. I had decided long ago to keep this one a secret. If I had known this chambers secret, though, I would have ran right out of there.  
  
I curled up near the window seat. It was made out of red velvet and gold tassel, fitting for a Gryffindor. "But you're not supposed to be a Gryffindor," a little voice said inside my head. I told it to shut up and go away. It obeyed instantly, like the rest of me did when people did that to me. I slowly unfolded the letter. It had many big long words, but I managed to locate a dictionary in the room and look them up. My parents had died.  
  
I tried to feel bad. Really I did. I knew that I should feel bad, that they were my parents, that children were supposed to cry over their parents.  
  
No reaction.  
  
I kept on thinking of my mother's indifference, and my father's coldness. Sure, they hadn't been all that nice to me, but they HAD been my parents.  
  
No reaction.  
  
Then I realized that, although we weren't exactly a happy family, they were what I was used to. I was used to being ignored or scolded, having robot- like maids and butlers, living in Pettigrew Mansion…  
  
I would have to go to a foster home, and who knows what that would be like?  
  
I started crying.  
  
  
  
I was to live with a new family in a new town. They, also, lived in a mansion. Unfortunately, they lived right between the Malfoys and the Snapes.  
  
Also unfortunately, I was to be the first test subject on foster parents—foster ROBOT parents, I mean. Of course, these robots weren't the muggle kind, they were run by magic, they were called something else that I can't remember at the moment, but I think of them as robots.  
  
What a happy new life.  
  
  
  
"Hey, it's not all THAT bad," James said. "At least you don't have to live with parents that are constantly watching you, or embarrassing you, or force you into things, or…"  
  
"Oh yes it is," I said. "Would YOU like to live with robots?"  
  
"…"  
  
"I know!" Sirius said. "You can buy a book on them, then figure out how to take them apart and program them! You can program them to give you sweets for dinner every night!"  
  
"If you're so enthusiastic, why don't we trade places?"  
  
"…"  
  
  
  
Remus seemed to be the only one that wasn't trying to convince me that robot parents were good. He sympathized with me.  
  
"That's not really fair! They should give REAL parents to a REAL child."  
  
"Gee, thanks for clearing up the fact that I'm real,"  
  
"Oh, I didn't mean…"  
  
"Kidding, kidding."  
  
"You're really not to happy about it, are you?"  
  
"Yeah, I seem to be overjoyed at the fact that I'm going to be living next to Malfoy and Snape."  
  
"Someone's in a good mood these days…"  
  
  
  
And Lily? Well, she seemed to understand, but she didn't really talk to me about it…  
  
She was always talking to James. 


	5. Third Year Summer and Fourth Year

And then the third year summer.  
  
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.  
  
"DON'T FOR-GET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH."  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
"HAVE A NICE DAY."  
  
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.  
  
"MER-RY CHRIST-MAS."  
  
"And a Happy New Year---even though it's July. Now would you please go and boil your robotic head?"  
  
"THANK YOU."  
  
"You do realize that you're not making any sense at all, do you?"  
  
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.  
  
"DIN-NER TIME."  
  
"Oh yes, I ALWAYS have dinner at four in the morning." I replied sarcastically. I thumped my head against the wall one more time.  
  
See, they weren't actually ROBOTS, they were more like people that had had permanent damage to their memory, so the Ministry of Magic was trying to find a use for them. They gave them about 100 different phrases, then sent two of them to me.  
  
Lucky me.  
  
But they talked like robots, and they acted like robots, and they always used "Merry Christmas" in the middle of July, so I called them robots.  
  
Now, another part that I hated was that the Malfoys lived next door. And that was probably a major factor in how my life ended up this way.  
  
I was forced by the robot-parents to go over and play every once in a while.  
  
I got teased by him, beaten up by him, got forced to eat dirt, and generally got treated like the lowest thing on Earth.  
  
Sounds fun, doesn't it?  
  
I hated my life.  
  
Fourth Year  
  
I was actually almost relieved when school started. I could see my friends again! (I wasn't allowed to see anyone besides the neighbors, I HATED being a test subject.)  
  
Everything was normal again.  
  
But then, one day, I was walking along a hallway.  
  
And then I saw them.  
  
Lily and James were walking. Together. Holding hands.  
  
I didn't feel too happy about that.  
  
In fact, I was extremely jealous. But what was I supposed to say. "Uh, James, the girl that you've been obsessing over for the last three years I've been obsessing over for the last four years so hand her over?"  
  
And, "Oh, Lily, I know that James is more handsome, a good Quidditch player, is a whole lot smarter and is more funny, but will you take me instead?"  
  
She'd laugh at me. And I'd be embarrassed for life, which had already happened a few times and, let me tell you, it's not a nice feeling.  
  
And then, on Christmas Day, I saw Lily and James kissing under the mistletoe.  
  
That was not a very happy moment, either.  
  
"Why is it always me that's left out?" I thought as I saw Lily leaning on James's shoulder and Sirius and Remus talking and laughing. And I was sitting all alone.  
  
All alone.  
  
Always alone.  
  
A/N: " "Why is it always me that's left out?" I thought as I saw Lily leaning on James's shoulder and Sirius and Remus talking and laughing." NO SLASH INTENDED!!!! What he means is: Sirius and Remus would rather have each other as FRIENDS.he's not wanted for a friend OR boyfriend. 


End file.
